Two traps that catch even the smartest and the bravest (from the coach of ambitious people)
Is it worth walking a path if you don’t know where it leads? Is it worth the risk if there’s no guarantee I will like what I find?
Here is the point where a lot of people get stuck when they want to change.
_____________________________________________
Why – even if staying where we are is exhausting – we can be paralyzed to take a step forward?
Like one guy shared with me recently:
“I see clearly that there are no opportunities for me to grow in this company. I don’t know where to go next – I’m already in a senior position. What if I lose everything after leaving?”
Or the woman leader of a predominantly male team said to me:
“I know I should stop yelling at my sons at home. But what if I try not to and still yell at them tomorrow? I’ll hate myself. Maybe they just need the other mom”.
_____________________________________________
The fear to fail or make a mistake pops up and crunches our gut.
“What if that would be the ugliest mistake in my life? I need proof it won’t”.
And it’s the first trap. There is no such thing as guarantees or perfection in real life.
Our mind becomes dedicated to finding proofs and usually falls… into negative ones. Because anxiety is stronger in imagining all sorts of catastrophes, not future possibilities.
_____________________________________________
The trap number 2 is I have to wait until I’m fully ready.
_____________________________________________
This weekend my partner and I were up to a casual walk. Suddenly we saw a magnificent hidden beach under the cliffs. There were no signs or paths to it, just some stony line between thorny bushes. After a while we had to cross a mini-waterfall, and reached a smooth drop down.
He said “Let’s go back”
I said “No. Let’s do it. We’ll manage. I promise”
And suddenly we found… a rope to go down.
The irony of life – key resources and support only show up after we begin the journey.
Never before.
Look here – that’s one of the most powerful models of personal change. And look at the arrow I draw! It’s only here you get allies – after you’ve been through some crucial steps forward.
So no:
You’ll never be 100% ready.
And no:
You can’t know the exact ending.
_____________________________________________
You only get two options in life:
Let fears freeze you.
Or move anyway:
1 – define a rough direction
2 – take the first step
3 – accept the cost
4 – test it with real experience
5 – learn and reflect.
To me, real freedom means walking your own path.
Because it can take you somewhere no standard road ever could.
To some, my way looks silly, hard, naive, reckless… (add whatever they have said to you.)
Let them think what they want.
But only by trying the unknown you get the ocean at your feet.
____
It’s my honor to know and work as a coach with people who try to act despite the fear.
I’m happy to be the guide with whom you can create unique ways to whatever life you desire. Even if nobody in your social circle believes you can do it [yet], I believe you can.
Because once upon a time all ways were new.
Click here to work with me